Peace. Love. Passion. Adventure.

The alarm goes off and I stir from my sleep. I dress quickly not wanting to lose any time. I grab some OJ and a tortilla and head out the door. I walk up the gravel road as I sip and eat, thinking. It is dark outside; I set up my ipod and get started. The first few steps are planned, thought out, purposeful. After the first few miles I’ve struck a rhythm and I glide effortlessly, unthinking, natural. The sun begins to rise and a change in scenery brings my mind back from space to form thoughts, process what it is I am striving for, what it is that I am working towards. As I go on I replenish my drained muscles with supplements and water. I press forward, strong, confident, determined. There are times when I don’t think for miles, I come back to myself and realize it has been miles since I last processed a thought. Peace, love, passion, adventure. I hit my favorite part of my run, the turn around point, I am headed home, and everything is downhill from here. I feel so alive, I feel amazing. The sun is nearly over the mountains in the east as I am nearly home, only a few more miles to go. The air is getting hotter; my legs are feeling the pavement more and more. My mind wanders to the refreshing breakfast I’ll make myself when I get home. How good the warm water will feel on my sore muscles. I pick up my pace to bring it in strong. My foot hits the gravel road and I press pause. I end my workout and listen to my stats. I take off my hat and feel the hot sun on my forehead. Sweat beads down my brow as I walk. 20 miles, I just ran 20 miles. 26, here I come.

On Imagination

I moved into a new home when I was four. Home, that word feels humble, this new home was immense. I was young enough that I often confused reality with imagination. As I explored and became lost in this new giant of a house I also became lost in my mind. I remember, I use this term loosely, finding rooms in the fragmentary attic consisting of all wood, walls missing. I would crawl in the empty spaces. The light of the sun was my only point of reference for a way out in the dark recesses of this new world. When I think back on it I cannot really separate what was real and what was make believe. I would wake up thinking it had all been a dream only to find out that it wasn't, I really lived here. My dreams, imagination, and the vastness of my new home have all melted into a very alluring memory indeed.

Forever Bored

Forever Bored

Am I to be forever bored? I try to remember what I use to do with my free time. Then it came to me, I use to study study and study. Now that I have the supposedly wonderful freedom of an adult I don't know what to do with myself. I need some hobbies, and I need them fast. Life can't stay this boring.

Jail?

Lately I have not wanted to do much. I don't want to get out of bed in the mornings, I don't want to contribute to society by working, and I don't want to be responsible for my life. This said, I think i've come up with a solution. Jail. I may not know that much about it, but we'll just entertain my fancies and say its how I think it is. It would be free, I'd get fed, cable, have free time, get to work out, and oh, did I mention it would be free? Now, I'm sure there were would be draw backs, scary inmates, community service, but hey. I'll just pretend jail is going to be for me how it was for George Bluth... How could I not love it? Now, the only problem is how to get into jail...

Insight into my laziness

I've started going to the gym lately, and no, I don't like it. As I was driving around the parking lot searching for a close space, I thought to myself, "Meghan, you are about to go run 3 miles, you think you could handle walking a little ways into the gym." No, this would be asking too much, I must find a close parking space, and I did, it was glorious.

Ice cream, friend or foe?

For the first time in my life I live in a neighborhood. There are trees, children, and yes, ice cream trucks that haunt our quiet street. I hear them frequently, too frequently, playing there sinister music outside my window. They wake me up from naps, they sit outside for minutes on end, just playing and playing, beckoning me. Go away, its October, I don't want your ice cream.

Reliving life

Its strange how little things bring you back. Like smelling the same soap my mom has bought since high school, or listening to the same radio stations I did when I was 16. I feel as though I'm reliving some parts of my life.

Fog

I don't know how it happened. But it did. I forgot about fog. I grew up with it, I remember running in it as a child, chasing faeries and elves that sadly I never caught up with. I remember times when it was so thick you couldn't see your outstretched fingertips. It is a magical thing fog. The real fog that rolls in from the ocean, from the bay. I love it, and it may just be beautiful enough to relinquish the hold snow has over me.

BYU Experience

BYU Experience
Walking across the tile floor of the library a sad and sentimental feeling came over me. This could very near be one of the last times, for a long time, that I would set foot in this place. As I walked to my final, I gazed at all of the beautiful buildings covered in snow. Memories flooded my mind of good times, hard times, and the great spirituality that I had experienced at BYU. As all of you know I recently graduated from BYU. It is definitely a different environment then anywhere else. When I first transferred to BYU from Cal Poly it was shocking to say the least. I remember walking out of my apartment on my way to drive to conference and I heard it playing in every one’s apartments. It struck me as so odd, yet amazing, that every person around me had my same faith. From ward prayer, insanely quick engagements, family home evening with your peers, and the honor code, BYU if definitely a unique place. My first cheesy BYU experience that I remember was hanging out with friends on a Sunday night and some how a reference for Mulan came up. The entire room, boys included, then started to sing the “Be a Man” song. Something else I LOVE about BYU/Provo is all of the snow. I remember the first time I went sledding, it was so amazing! A bunch of kids and I brought any kind of sled or disk we could find, and tore our bodies apart in Rock Canyon Park. I had never been before, and I decided that I would have to go as much as possible from then on out! The other night we (as in 30 kids) had a ginormaous snow ball fight! I made a snow man and my friends made a five foot tall snow ball. One memory that will always make me laugh happened a few months ago. My calling this last semester was FHE leader. My partner and I decided that it would be so fun to play night games outside in the rain. We had a good turn out and headed to the duck pond south of campus. We started off with hide and seek. The rain was coming down in buckets and we had so much fun being completely stealth, and then slipping like total goofs. We played sardines next and had a great time combing the bushes for the sneaky hiders. We played a couple of hours when we decided it was time to rap it up. We decided to get down and dirty with our last sardine’s game, and everyone hid so well. I curled up in a ball, under a pine trees bough, in the mud! I stayed so still, and felt so cool because it had been so long and I hadn’t been found. However, it got to be really long so I snuck out, and so had other people. We realized that no one was looking for us! The boy that was it thought we had all ditched him so he went home to get a sweatshirt and some dinner. We were all so peeved! The funny part was that one of the guys that had hid fell asleep under the tree and after us yelling for 5 minutes, not wanting to leave him behind, he woke up and came out! A friend also thought he broke his arm, so we got to make a visit to the emergency room. It was so funny, this boy thought he broke it early on, but wanted to keep playing! While this is just a small story, BYU provided me with many of these experiences. Every time something like this happened, I would get this feeling of gratitude for youth that are willing to make fun anywhere and do it righteously. I loved my time at BYU, and I am so glad that I went there. These last three years taught me so much, and I am grateful for everything I learned. BYU is Awesome!
Meghan 2006

Speech Impediment

Speech Impediment
I should begin by telling you that I have a serious fear of public speaking. My palms get clammy, my voice waivers, my eyes get fuzzy, and my stomach lurches whenever I get up in front of a crowd. If it is a particularly large crowd I start to cry. It was my freshman year in college and one of the GE’s that I had to take was speech 101. How exciting for me, I was so terrified of it that I actually dropped the class first quarter, deciding that maybe later on I would be more brave.
Well, second quarter rolled around and I started it off with zero credits. The wonderful budget cuts going on by the state of California made getting classes difficult. Eventually I gathered 12 credits, but I needed more, so I reluctantly added the only open spot left for speech 101. My teacher was nice, the class size was small, and the book was less of a joke than my first one… so I felt a bit better this time round. Well, we started off with an explanatory speech, I practiced till I was blue in the face and when I gave it my face was more of an olive color. Either way, I gave my speech and actually did well. After delivering I had to put my head on my desk and breath slowly so I wouldn’t share my lunch with the classmate next to me. The semester went by, and as with anything, practice makes perfect. I still got ill, but I could handle it.
During the last weeks of class our teacher said that there was to be a persuasive speech competition. If one of us won, she would give that student an automatic A in the class. I decided it sounded pretty sweet, so I entered in. My speech was on reality TV and all the evils I felt went along with it. I wrote a good speech, I just needed help with the delivery.
Anyway…I’ll have you know that this competition was rather large, it was for all the students in speech 101. That means it could include even super seniors! Overall there were about 200 people in this competition. We all showed up on a very rainy evening and were assigned into groups. There were three rounds to make it through, then the finals. I delivered my speech as well as I could in round one, received a bit of criticism in round two, and kind of choked in round three. I took comfort in realizing that my material trumped most of the other students. Eventually all 200 of us reconvened into an amphitheater type room to hear the finalists. I was sitting with my friends chatting as they called out the names, I didn’t need to listen, there was no way I had made it.
My friend turned to me wide eyed and her mouth dropped a bit. I was kind of confused until they announced my name again. My palms broke out in a sweat, my stomach turned and my head began to pound. They couldn’t be serious! I had to give my speech in front of all 200 students and the judges! I fearfully took my seat next to the other two finalists. I was the second to go up. I started out over my crowd and froze! The judges started at me, I stared back. I started to panic, if only I could just get my first line out! “Imagine you are living in the year 90 CE, sweat dripping from you brow, and blood dripping from your sword….” Yes, I had done it, everything else began to follow. I triumphantly finished by challenging my crowd to think twice about what they called entertainment and took my seat.
I sat nervously as the judges discussed the scores, “The second runner up is….the first runner up is…..the winner of the 2004 speech competition is Meghan Nielsen”. I was so excited, I rose to accept my trophy, take a few pictures, and skipped off towards home. It was a great experience and I am so glad that I was able to get over my fear of public speaking, well, at least back then :).

Meghan and Emily

Meghan and Emily
Being a part of this family we all know that Emily and I had our rough beginnings, but eventually they turned into a valued friendship. When I got home this year Emily and I began reminiscing on a few choice memories of our adventures together, so I decided for this year, to write a few of them down.
One, two, three….fifty-seven. One, two, three….fifty-eight. One, two, three…fifty-seven. After counting the stars on my ceiling for a half hour, I decided that it was time to do something else. It was just a normal school night and I was very bored. I moseyed around the house looking for something to entertain myself with. I saw Emily doing nothing like myself, so with a flare of adventure in my eye, I recommended we go jogging together. Mom and Dad were headed off to a church meeting, so we made sure to wait until they were gone. We started out all well and good, getting a pretty good workout, jogging down creek road. We went through Pulte homes and took a left on Balfour so we could jog home up Fairview. Well, as we rounded the corner onto Fairview, we saw some houses in the making and decided to go explore. We went to a partially finished house and walked around on the wood floors and through the wood walls. We then discovered the construction workers stash of beer bottles and Juaritos. We stacked them up and had a good bowling game with them.
After messing around in the house for some time, we chilled on its roof for a bit and then walked out to the construction sites. There we found some very tall piles of saw dust and climbed on top of them. We had a good ole time surfing and rolling down them. After this lost its savor we went back out to Fairview and continued to jog home. After a bit of that we stumbled upon an overflowing sprinkler. It was in a little valley surrounded by hills of grass. It had flooded so much that there was now a little pool about four feet high. It looked too fun to resist…Em and I stripped off our socks and shoes and took a little swim. It was so fun having nice soft grass under our toes, so we played there for a good while. We stumbled out of our little pool after some time and continued to walk home.
We now had our shoes in hand and thought it would be fun to sing at the top of our lungs and loose our voices. We busted out with Joy to the world and took turns singing, “If I was the king of the world, tell you what I’d do” Then we’d fill it in with whatever we’d do. We then heard some lady yelling at us from her porch. We looked up the hill and she just kept yelling but we just kept singing. We then saw a little guard winding his way down the hill after us. We got a bit scared and took off running. We slipped through a gate of the golf course and continued running. We then thought it best to hide out in a sand trap. As we were laying there another guard in a golf cart was driving right by us and we heard a radio saying that two young girls had disturbed the peace and had then escaped by running onto the golf course, a few more things were said and it turned out that now this guard was searching for us! Once he had passed and was out of site Emily and I thought it would be fun to make sand castles! We molded and crafted some sweet little mounds, Emily’s turned out rather phallic so we had a good laugh about it. We then made our mark by drawing our names in the sand with a huge rake. Now we decided it was time to make a break for it. As we were sneaking around James Bond style the same guard started to roll up and over his loud speaker told us to stop, we weren’t about to do that, so we took off running. As we were running I swiped a CARTS sign and Emily yoinked a huge flag. Both of which still reside in her room. The guard continued to chase us down but we jumped the fence and high tailed it out of there. When we got to our road we slowed down and smiled to ourselves hoping mom and dad weren’t home to see our new treasures. As it turned out they were still at their meeting….sigh, Safe! A few weeks latter Emily, mom, and I were hanging out in Em’s room and mom inquired about the 7 foot flag. Emily and I just smiled at each other and told her it was nothing.
Cows
Over the past years Emily and I have driven around our fair share, and being a nature fan, I always gaze out at the rolling hills around Brentwood. One day I noticed a very cute little baby cow, “Emily, look at the whittle cow!” Emily turned to look, “AHHHHHHH, SICK!” Turns our as soon as she looked she saw a big bull mount the cute momma cow right next to the baby cow. This wasn’t a one time occurrence folks. It happened quite often to Emily! I’d always see a cute little cow and soon as Emily looked, she’s see it being mounted by a not so cute bull! In fact, she saw this happen on our trip to the light house the other day! Lucky girl!
Wind Mill
Yet again, Emily and I were bored and decided to go mosh around on the Four-Wheeler. It was raining and perfect for having a good time. We drove it over to creek road and were going through the orchards and having a jolly old time. Well, we stumbled upon a field that had a huge Wind Mill in the middle of it. It was very dreary looking with the gray stormy clouds and the wind thrashing it back and forth, so of course we decided to climb it! We walked to the base of it and stared up and this 50 foot edifice with wide eyes, as lightning shot across the sky. I looked at Emily and dared her to go first. She said only if came right after, so we began the journey. The way to the top was this teeny tiny latter measuring less than a foot wide. Shaking with fear Emma made it to the top. Once there she freaked out and clung tightly onto the middle of the not so sturdy wind mill. I decided to go up and help her out, only to freak out myself! We were on the top of a huge chunk of rusted metal that was oscillating due to the wind while lightning flashed all around us. We decided it best that we live past our very young ages, and slowly climbed down the latter. We hopped back on the four-wheeler and headed back home.
Sleepovers
Emily has the power like no one else to make me laugh, especially when we should be sleeping! This one time Em, whit, and I were having a sleep over in the library. I had started to doze off, but Em and Whit were still chatting. Whitney randomly said, “I think Simba is a very attractive lion, don’t you?” Emily replied, “I think he looks like a Gerbil!” I found it somewhat funny so being half asleep I merely laughed a bit through my nose, more like a loud exhale, but apparently it was the funniest thing that had ever happened and Emily spazmed into laughter. She was laughing so hard that Whitney and I couldn’t help but join in. We then continued to laugh for hours. We calm down for a bit, but then Emily’s sweet laugh would strike up again and we would all join in. This has happened to Emily and me a number of times, over the simplest things, we get going, and we can’t stop!
Telepathy
I was sleeping in Emily’s room on a Saturday night and was wondering when that little girl was going to get home from her church dance. Well, she moseyed in around 12 and got into bed. I asked her how her night went and she proceeded to tell me how much fun she’d had, especially dancing with a certain boy. We stopped chatting, and as I was half asleep I started randomly singing a song. I thought it very odd due to the fact that I hadn’t heard this particular song since 7^th grade, and I had no clue why I had started singing in the first place! I then noticed a wide eyed Emily staring at me. “What?” I inquired…Emily cautiously said, “Why did you start singing that song?” I replied, “I have no clue, I haven’t heard it forever, weird huh?” She then continued to tell me that she was still wide awake thinking about this boy, and was just then reviewing the song they had danced to, and it was the very song I had randomly started to sing, and furthermore, I had picked up the song at exactly the place she was at! We flipped out and then proceeded to try and read each other’s minds for the next couple hours, and with no success finally dozed off to sleep.
Well, I hoped you enjoyed Emily and my silly little mishaps, there are a million more, but I’m sure you’re attention spans are tiring, and so is mine while typing this, so Merry Christmas and I love you all!
Meghan 2004

1 credit too short

1 credit too short
This story begins at Cal Poly on a warm afternoon. I was sitting at my computer on the phone talking with Amy. I had 11 units, and in order to be a full time student, I needed one more credit. She suggested I take bowling, it sounded good to me so I added it to my schedule taking the last spot. The class was Monday and Wednesday from 2 to 3. The first day I showed up I walked unsurely around the lanes until some boys asked if I was on a team. I said I didn’t have one and they insisted I join theirs. I bowled a 57 my first game, I bet they were pretty upset having asked me to be on their team, but it was already settled ?.
So yeah, I went to the class and after a while it dawned on us that we were in first place. Crazy huh? So then we actually started getting competitive with out bowling. We’d get into the games and try and psych other people out, it was really funny. I did get better, I started bowling 80’s and 90’s, and the first time I broke 100 I decided to go all out and get a 133. The high score for girls at that time. Then, the last Wednesday of class, I bowled a 161, which is a 264 with my handicap. I got a turkey plus one, so four in a row! I bowled 5 strikes total! It was a cosmic bowling day, meaning they turn on funky lights and play music. There were certain awards you could win candy for. We cleaned house! We had the number one girl bowler with and without handicap, yours truly, the number one guy bowler with and without handicap, and the number one team.
Since we were the number one team ( I love saying that he he) we got the privilege of playing in a tournament the coming up Friday. In this tournament, you have the chance of winning four custom fit bowling balls for your team, but only if you come in first place! Friday I woke up to go bowling, yeah, I was super excited! The reason we were number one in our class was because Phil (guy on my team) and I were terrible bowlers for the most part…so since we're not that great compared to all the other number one teams, we think we don't have a chance in heck, but its great to dream, you know. We all show up feeling really nervous, and we just keep saying, we’re not going to win, so lets just have fun. Yeah right, each one of us was eyeing those beautiful gleaming bowling balls. I even went up to them and lovingly gazed at my reflection in them.
So any who, we're bowling, I’m actually getting some spares, its nice, we're doing good. Then we start to realized we're doing better than good, we're doing great. So we actually start to think that winning is a possibility, well, low and behold we find out that most of the teams are done and the leading score is 858. Well when we found that out we figure, no way we're going to get there, we were over 100 points behind in the tenth frame, or something crazy like that…! Well, so my pal Eric goes up to bowl, he got 8, only 8! So its alright though, he bowled a 143, he did his part. Then Craig goes up, oh yeah, its a strike, we've started to gather a crowd. Then he bowls again, we can't believe it, another strike! There are muffled cheers from behind us. Then he goes again, its crazy, he gets a turkey in the third frame. This brings us to 41 points away from winning. But come on, me who averages a 85 and Phil who averages a 90 getting 41 pins combined? Its not going to happen.
Well, I got up with shaky limbs and sweaty palms terrified of letting the team down. I hope for a good one, do my superstitious ritual of rolling the ball against my stomach, and throw my ball, dun dun dun, its a strike I can't believe it, the crowd goes wild, we've now accumulated about 200 people watching us. I go again, come on Meghan we need this, and YES, ITS ANOTHER STRIKE! Then the crowd is just insane, cheering me on, its a great feeling. So I bowl again, its a strike, the pin is going to fall, but it doesn't!!! So only nine go down, but hey, I did my part, it was amazing. So its up to Phil, all he needs to win is 8 pins, just eight! So he bowls, and he hits seven, we are so scared, we are two pins away from victory. He bowls again for the spare, he nicks one, everyone screams, it falls, it falls! And as it falls it dominos the one next to it, then that one falls knocking the last pin down too! He has it, he has the spare, he bowls again insuring our win and the crowd starts rioting and looting the place. People are running out of the place with bowling balls and shoes. Someone punches the teacher and screams out something about the injustice of it all and then…Okay, everything but that last part was true, but you get the picture.
Okay, so you think the bowling balls are ours now right? WRONG! There is another division that is bowling after us. Luckily there are only four teams in it compared to the 12 in ours. So we still have a good chance of winning those beautiful pear-like purple, green, white, and blue bowling balls. So I wait nervously in my room for an hour and then run down there with my roommate. We get in the bowling alley and we don’t see anyone. I then hear a drill. I run down the side lane into the back room to see all my teammates arguing over which ball they get. It was hilarious. WE WON! So awesome. They measured my hand and fingers and now I have a perfect fit bowling ball all my own. It is so pretty, its sitting under my bed waiting to be played with. Love Meghan Merry Christmas All!

Broken Bones up the Wahzoo

Broken Bones up the Wahzoo
It was around 7:00 when Emily and I remember we had a Daddy Daughter party over at the Christ’s. We pulled dad from his bed and made him get some trunks, a towel, and the keys to the car. We arrived late, but the fun had just started so all was well. WE had some pool races, balloon toss, and sack races. After all the festivities everyone was waiting for the barbecue. Sharessa Filmore and I decided to go jump on the trampoline. We started doing flips and just jumping. I kept on yelling at dad to, “Watch me, watch me do a back flip!”. Finally I got his attention so I jumped a couple times and threw my weight backwards. Well……I sorta, kinda, over rotated. It sent me flying off the trampoline. The first pains shot through my arm as my wrist slammed against the metal surrounding the trampoline. My closed fist then went head on into the ground followed by my entire body’s weight landing on top of it. I felt horrible and excruciating pain shooting like fire up and down my arm. I pulled my arm out from under my body. IT looked like a theme parks Mr. Joe’s Wild roller coaster. It was insane. I just laid there looking at it. I was baffled. I didn’t know what to do. I then noticed that as I had fallen all sound had disagreed. I was in a void of silence. I strained to hear something, anything. I then heard Dad asking, “Meghan, are you all right, did you get the wind knocked out of you? What’s wrong?”. I then remember taking in a huge breath as it had so happened I had stopped breathing momentarily. I gasped for air as I wailed, “Daddy, daddy, I think I broke my arm!” Think, pah, there was no mistaking, my arm was messed up! Dad ran over to me, picked me up, and ran to the car. He put me in front seat, revved the engine and started to drive away when I reminded him we didn’t have Emily. He slammed on the breaks and yelled for her. She ran into the car and curiously asked,, the party isn’t over why are we lea…..OH MY GOSH!” She stared in horror at my grotesque and deformed arm. Dad drove like a maniac back home. Mabey it was just me because every slight movement made my arm fell like a thousand needles were jabbing into it. We got home and dad ran inside. Everyone came out to stare at my arm. I recall Krista blurting out, “Holy crap it looks like a roller coaster!!! Oh….uhh…….yeah…are you okay? Then Michael started cracking jokes and I started laughing which didn’t set well with me so I threw up out the window. Mom followed by Dad then came rushing out with a glass of water and vanished Motrin. She went to hand me the Motrin and realized she had taken it herself. Astonished she got in the car with dad and we headed for the hospital. They put me in a wheel chair and hurried me into a room. They helped me out of my wet, cold, and very uncomfortable swim suit and into a warm hospital suit. The nurses or whatever came in and I just laid there hearing jumbled sounds come from Mom, Dad, and the nurse of doctor person. I did happen to hear Dad, “I can’t believe this! I’ve broken six arms and I didn’t remember Ice! Ice!”. The nurse person then came up to me with some things and I didn’t pay attention till she was inches away from my arm with a needle/knife thing. I sat up and started panicking. She explained she was only giving me an Iv. I went into hysterics. I thought an Iv was a very long tube they shoved up and into your arm. I didn’t know they just taped it on. One nurse help me down while the other jabbed, no joking, 11 times at my arm trying to get the Iv in. I wanted to beat her! When it was finally in they shot me up with 4 or 5 different drugs and I was sittin’ pretty. I was then wheeled into a room where I was asked to count to 10. I got to 4 and I was out of it. Much later I awoke in a dark room. It had a yellowish tint to it. I looked around and noticed I was having x-rays. All the drugs had worn off, my arm was set, and all the numbness that had dulled the pain of my wrist had disappeared. I cried out in anguish as the nurse moved my arm around taking x-rays. All of my senses where whetted. I felt every single movement and received vast amounts of pain from them. I must have passed out because I then awoke in a bright room with a cast and Wendy next to me with balloons and a stuffed animal. I was brought home that afternoon. The next couple days I just laid in bed happy as a clam floating in and out of dreams with heavy doses of vicadin. After this ordeal I received lots of sympathy, many visits to a gone doctor, and a not so normal looking arm. It was an experience I could have passed up, but hey….What doesn’t kill yah, makes yah stronger!
(Meghan Nielsen, Christmas 2000)
12/22/00